Balance is Bulls**t, Why balance is unattainable and what we can do instead.

Yep I said it. I don't curse much in my blog or in any of my posts, but I'm just going to say it here. Balance is bullshit. Do you want to know the truth? The truth is finding complete and perfect balance a myth. If you think about a scale, you have to have the exact amount of weight on each side in order for it to be balanced. And in our lives, that is incredibly hard to do; for most of us, it's pretty impossible. 

Instead, the way that I like to think about it is not that I'm trying to balance everything at once, but I prefer to think of my life's balance as having an ebb and flow, or seasons. Sometimes it's high tide and sometimes it's low tide. Sometimes everything is calm and working like a well oiled machine, and then out of nowhere your toddler gets the stomach bug and you're up to your elbows in puke.

This is life. Life is messy and can't be perfectly balanced. Plus, the whole reason we want balance in the first place is for peace of mind! We will have no peace in our lives if we are constantly trying to juggle that perfect ideal. By setting the expectation that we can achieve perfect balance we are setting ourselves up for more stress. 

Instead I propose we set the goal of planning for and prioritizing self care so that we can rest up, get our strength and be ready for when the going gets tough. If we don't recharge our batteries as often as possible, we won't have the power to push through those tough times to get ourselves back into an equilibrium.

With me so far? Great. There are two important and essential components to taking this approach to balance in your life: self awareness, and self care. 

Self awareness means that you know yourself and how you operate. The key to this is taking the time to look inward, get quiet with yourself, and really understand yourself. The point with self awareness is to get in touch with your goals and how you're feeling at the time. You should do this on a daily basis to see how you're progressing, and also periodically to see if you should reevaluate your goals. 

The second point, self care, is pretty straightforward: you have to make sure that you're taking care of yourself. Our kids, husbands, jobs... All of these outside forces are putting pressure on us as moms! And they ask things of us, and need things from us. But if we are not taking care of ourselves, we cannot provide for anyone or anything else. It's like how in the event of an emergency on an airplane, all passengers are told to put their own oxygen mask on before they try to help anyone else. You literally have to equip yourself so that you can help those around you. It's the same principal here as a mom, a wife, an employee, a friend. 

So how are we going to actually implement this? Stay tuned. The entire month of June I will be recapping book chapters from the Fringe Hours with lessons I learned on finding more time for yourself, I'll be sharing products that can help you get more time, I will show you exactly how I practice and prioritize self care, and I'll be bringing in some experts to give us their take on how we can do this! 

Yes, balance is bullshit, but that doesn't mean we can't make an attempt at it so long as we have set the correct expectations for ourselves. Figuring out what balance means to us and implementing it the key to thriving and not just surviving in motherhood. So, let's do this!